Excuse me a moment while I do a couple of pre-review checks; soapbox?  Dusted down and ready for mounting.  My Dougie-baiting stick?  Sharpened and ready for action.  Actually, that’s all I’ll be needing because Paige, an almost embryonic quintet from Hertfordshire, inflame the sort of fury in this reviewer that others reserve for motorists who cut them up or people who recline their seats on an airplane.  I know, I know, I can hear a thousand bedroom doors slamming now and muffled cries of “but they’re young”, or “it’s what the kids want” and “they at least play and write their own material”.  But “If You Say So”, their debut EP after a year of almost solid touring, just doesn’t deliver anything new and sounds like Elliot Minor, You Me At Six or any other intricately-coiffed pop-punk wanabees.

There are concerted efforts strewn around this EP to mimic the early emo days of Jimmy Eat World or Something Corporate, but like on opener “Dear Heartstrings” these efforts don’t carry the same sort of punch when they are peppered with lyrics like “you’re on my mind, all the time, like my favourite love song on re-wind”.  The Hanson-esque pre-pubescent delivery of “You’ve Got Guts…” is just cringeworthy and the only mole-hill sized high point comes in the last track “Actions” with the use of some synthesizer, a blessed change of pace rather than anything ground-breaking.

It may be just me and I may just not “get” Paige.  Singing in an American accent when you’re from the Home Counties may be as innovative and influential as Sgt Pepper one day, and nearly 400,000 fans on their MySpace site might not be wrong…  But it won’t be, and they are!  Truly awful.

Let us know your views on If You Say So

Track Listing

Dear Heartstrings
This Is How We Roll!
You’ve Got Guts (Shame We’ve Gotta Clean ‘Em Up)
Silhouettes
Actions

Line Up

Lewis White – guitar/vocals
Aaron Hunt – guitar/vocals
Nathan White – bass/vocals
Paul Hinwood – keys
Alex Tillbrook - drums